[Carrie Bradshaw]: The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.
– Sex and The City (1998)
Love is a complex and multifaceted emotion that has intrigued poets, philosophers, and individuals throughout the ages. Finding, keeping, and letting go of love are integral aspects of the human experience.
In this article, I explore the nuanced elements of love, from embracing solitude to prioritizing character over chemistry. Additionally, I delve into the importance of patience, kindness, and understanding in sustaining relationships, the significance of emotional connection beyond the physical, and the art of expressing love daily.
8 Rules of Love: How To Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go
“When you see someone’s personality, you see what you like, but when you see someone’s character, you see the more difficult, challenging parts of them.”
– Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go
- Embracing Solitude:
- Research challenges the misconception that single people are responsible for widespread loneliness.
- Studies indicate that the longer people stay single, the happier they become.
- Over time, satisfaction with single life increases, contrary to societal narratives.
- Character Over Chemistry:
- Emphasizes the importance of character traits, interests, and values in long-term relationships.
- While chemistry starts a relationship, compatibility and character sustain it.
- Urges individuals to spend quality time together before expressing love to truly understand each other’s character.
- Relationship Dynamics:
- Claims relationships end not due to a lack of love but a deficiency in patience, kindness, and understanding.
- The ability to turn arguments into discussions is crucial for relationship longevity.
- Understanding and respecting each other’s fight styles can lead to healthier conversations.
- Intimacy Beyond Sex:
- Highlights that oxytocin, related to the feeling of love, spikes during sex.
- Warns against relying solely on physical intimacy for emotional closeness.
- Encourages seeking emotional connection outside of sexual encounters for genuine intimacy.
- Diverse Forms of Love:
- Explores various types of love beyond romantic, including friendship, familial, universal, casual, duty-based, and self-love.
- Challenges the societal pedestal of romantic love, emphasizing the importance of all forms of meaningful connections.
- Encourages expressing love daily rather than waiting for it, as the most significant acts of love are not always romantic.
Love: How To Find It, How To Keep It, and How To Let It Go
Before embarking on the journey of love with another person, it is essential to cultivate a healthy relationship with oneself.
Embracing solitude is not about avoiding connection with others but rather developing a strong sense of self. Take the time to understand your interests, passions, and values. This self-awareness will not only enrich your individual life but also contribute positively to any future relationships.
Character Over Chemistry
While physical attraction and chemistry play a role in relationships, placing excessive emphasis on these aspects can lead to shallow connections.
Prioritizing character over chemistry involves seeking compatibility in values, goals, and communication styles. A relationship built on shared values is more likely to withstand the tests of time, fostering a deeper, more meaningful connection.
Related content: Discover Your Personal Values
Relationships End Not Due to a Lack of Love
Many relationships face challenges, and some inevitably come to an end. However, it’s crucial to recognize that relationships often fail not because of a lack of love but due to a deficiency in patience, kindness, and understanding.
Cultivating these qualities can fortify the foundation of a relationship, promoting resilience during difficult times.
Emotional Connection Beyond Sexual Encounters
While physical intimacy is an integral part of romantic relationships, genuine emotional connection transcends the realm of sexual encounters.
Building emotional intimacy involves open communication, active listening, and vulnerability. Investing in emotional connection creates a stronger bond, fostering a sense of security and understanding between partners.
Expressing Love Daily
Love is not a static entity; it requires continuous nurturing and expression. Instead of waiting for special occasions, make a habit of expressing love daily. This can be through verbal affirmations, acts of kindness, or simply spending quality time together.
Consistent expressions of love create an environment of appreciation and reinforce the emotional connection between partners.
Love is a journey full of twists, turns, and unexpected moments.
Whether finding, keeping, or letting go, these principles contribute to a fulfilling and enriching experience of love, allowing individuals to grow and evolve both independently and within the context of their relationships.