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How Can We Overcome Destructive Emotions?

in Mindfulness, Self-improvement & Personal Growth on 15/12/15

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Dalai Lama on Emotions

Imagine sitting with the Dalai Lama in his private meeting room with a small group of world-class scientists and philosophers. The talk is lively and fascinating as these leading minds grapple with age-old questions of compelling contemporary urgency. Daniel Goleman, author of Destructive Emotions, provides the illuminating commentary—and reports on the breakthrough research this historic gathering inspired.

A radical disillusionment calms the mind

Richard Davidson picked up on my theme: “Are there emotions other than compassion that preserve or reinforce the calmness of the mind?”

The Dalai Lama’s answer was surprising: “Renunciation is another.”

Alan immediately clarified, “I usually translated as ‘renunciation’, but the etymology is more literally ‘a spirit of emergence’.”

“It is the first step to really, thoroughly determine how vulnerable we are to suffering,” the Dalai Lama said. “If we understand how utterly vulnerable we are, and recognize that these mental afflictions make us so vulnerable, then we can see the possibility of the mind becoming free of those mental afflictions.”

“You are recognizing the nature of suffering, but you also sense the possibility of emerging from this ubiquitous vulnerability to suffering–this is why it is called a spirit of emergence. This spirit of emergence could also be called an emotion; there is an enormous amount of emotional content to it. It entails a radical disillusionment with the whole of samsara,” the worldly realm of suffering, and our vulnerability to it. “And so, whether you call it disgust or disillusionment, it is a profound sadness with respect to the mundane. This is all, theoretically, in anticipation of ascertaining the possibility of nirvana–complete and irreversible freedom from mental afflictions.”

Matthieu elaborated: “It’s a strong sense of lassitude, being completely tired of worldly preoccupations with pleasure and pain, fame and obscurity, praise and blame. It’s an emotion that makes you want to get out of it–a disillusionment and realization of the pointless of banking on samsara.”

The Dalai Lama concluded, “The disenchanment that arises is primarily focused on the mental afflictions with the recognition ‘Here is the source of my problem.” From that arises the attitude of emergence, aspiring for freedom from them. So that is one example of an emotion that would calm the mind.”

Wholesome emotions

Matthieu returned to Richie’s question about emotions that lead to peace of mind, cultivated through meditation. “We often speak of a kind of serenity, not only peace but a kind of invulnerability–not joy in the sense of an expressed joy, but a serenity that, like a mountain, cannot be shaken by the wind of circumstances. It is different from passivity or indifference. For instance, if you are confronted with other’s suffering, that serenity doesn’t prevent you from having full compassion. It increases your courage for doing something, rather than depressing you as if it were a sad event that hurts your own ego. The serenity that is invulnerable to outward circumstances is not all synonymous with passivity; it is another specific quality that goes with inner calm.”

This equanimity, the Dalai Lama added, counters the strong feelings of attraction or attachment that create disequilibrium in the mind. “You recall I mentioned afflictive compassion, which is mixed up with attachment. In fact, afflictive compassion is something we want to get rid of. How do you remove the component of attachment that is making it afflictive? This is the reason that you start with equanimity in the Buddhist cultivation of compassion. You develop an even-mindedness that then counteracts the attachment or craving. Out of that equanimity, compassion then arises. When it arises, it is nonafflictive compassion, and that is what one really seeks to cultivate.”

 

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